Monday, October 20, 2008

So much...

After going over the guest list today for Alan's and I's wedding, I just feel absolutely drained. So many people to include, and just not enough money to have the wedding I've always wanted. I know I know, no one ever gets their dream wedding, but I'm not really asking for much. I just want a nice reception with all my friends and family all together eating, laughing, drinking, and dancing.

I have fond memories of weddings from my aunts and uncles. The church wedding where the bride enters and all eyes are on her, how everyone is so happy and claps when the priest says, "you may now kiss your bride", and everyone then jumping into their cars or crossing the street to the reception where there are tables with pretty flower center pieces, a dance floor with a DJ playing 80's music, a fog machine, the bar where all my uncles went to drink, and a large wedding cake looming in the background.

Those were the weddings I remember and always hoped that I too would have one day. Now with the reading and tv watching I've done about weddings, at times I feel overwhelmed and we haven't even done anything yet. Just thinking about all the work to be done is daunting. It scares me, it really does. At times looking at the wedding magazines or the tv shows causes it, everything is so perfect. Yes there is a huge crew that sets up the photos and tv shows, but it would be nice if my own wedding could emulate them.

I know that the perfect wedding shouldn't be so hard pressed at the end of the day Alan and I will be man and wife, and really that's what it is all about. But, there is that little girl in me that has always dreamed of a princess wedding.

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